Any attraction needs a distraction. Without breaks, we will break down.

Resting Heart Rate (RHR) is the rate at which your heart beats when you wake up in the morning, but when you are still in bed. A low RHR indicates that the heart is resting sufficiently between two successive contractions and expansions. A high RHR indicates that the heart does not rest enough between two successive contractions and expansions. So, lower the RHR, the healthier your heart is. The conclusion is that even the heart we sing praises of, for working from womb to tomb, takes enough rest for it to go on and on and on... 

We have a very unfortunate misconception that holidays are only for the rich and the elite, and only for children who haven't yet begun to shoulder the responsibilities of life. We still consider going on holidays an expense. To most people, holidays are nothing more than religious holy days - a declared off from the workplace. 

When the body or mind reaches its threshold, efficiency declines. As much as we take rest at the end of the day to replenish our energy levels, holidays rejuvenate our mind, intellect and emotions and thereby the spirit. 

If at all we do go on a holiday, we exhaust ourselves with seeing seven different places in a day's time. It is plenty of travelling, sightseeing, visiting places of worship and endless shopping. Such holidays, instead of serving as a break, actually break you down. What to say of people who do the same even during their honeymoon! 

Taking family holidays is the best investment one can make to rebuild family ties. Likewise, taking a holiday as an organisation greatly strengthens interpersonal relationships. It provides uninterrupted time with each other and hence reduces the accumulated emotional baggage. It breaks the pattern of routine life which has turned out to be a professional drill for most people. It not only provides recreation, but also re-creates your spirits (the solid one, not the liquid), Leave your mobile phones, laptops and your tight inner garments behind. Dress comfortably during your holiday and forget modelling. Resolve not to call your office till your holiday is through. For heaven's sake, do not go there and start cooking your own food. Treat your tongue to new cuisines. You will come back feeling on 'Top of the World'. You will also realise that the 'World was not on your top' and it went on without you. 

A holiday to unwind... a holiday to break the pattern of thought and work... a holiday to rejuvenate... a holiday to breathe different air... a holiday to look back and to look ahead... a holiday to dedicate yourself completely to the family... a holiday to be a full-time spouse, a full-time parent, and a full-time son... a holiday to free yourself from your labels and designations. 

Any attraction needs a distraction. Holidays are mandatory. Without breaks, we will break down. Do you know that even God to a day off? "For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, and on the seventh day He rested, and was refreshed." - Exodus 31:17. 

Get ahead of people. Do not get even with them.

My friend and I recently visited a home for abandoned children. There we spoke to a staff member, who was very affable by nature, about wanting to make a material contribution to the home. He told us that we would have to discuss that with one of their social workers who was in charge of receiving contributions. While we were waiting, a lady walked in. In a tone so arrogant that it would have made Adolph Hitler turn in his grave, she said, "Oh, you people want to make a contribution! Give me 500 kilograms of rice... I only want that now. I am not interested in taking anything else. Of course, if you people can't afford it, then give me 5 kilograms of rice... but I want rice and nothing else. I am leaving." No courtesy, no pleasantness, no smile... She just walked in, did some verbal vomiting and walked out. "She is in charge of receiving contributions!? God save the children of the home," I thought to myself. 

My friend and I did not speak for quite some time... we were still reeling from that experience of utter disrespect and disregard. Later I told my friend, "Let's give them the 500 kilograms of rice. We want to make a difference to the children, not to the lady. Let her behaviour not stand as a wall between our hearts and the children's stomachs." 

When you are recovering from an illness, doctors say, "You are responding to the medicine." If your health deteriorates, doctors say, "The medicine is reacting on you." Response is positive; reaction is negative. Let us never react to any situation in life, but instead choose our response. Let our behaviour not be instigated by forces from outside, but be born out of an internal value-based choice. Let not some man or woman in the world outside parade over our inherent goodness. 

How the world behaves is none of our business. The greatest pride is in rising in your own eyes. How much ever you are tested, wherever you go, whatever you do... live your character. Let the limitations of other people not limit us. 'Someone is wrong' isn't an excuse for us to be wrong. Wrong as a response to wrong isn't the way. Let us not trade our goodness. At every opportunity, let us get ahead of people and not get even with them. 

Emotions - yes. Emotional drama - no!

The husband and wife gifted themselves a new car for their first wedding anniversary. They drove downtown, zipped through the beach road, watched a movie in a drive-in theatre, and finally returned home. As they didn't have a garage, they parked the car on the street. When they woke up the next morning, they found to their utter shock that the car was missing. It had been stolen. Their first car, their first wedding anniversary gift, and they had barely enjoyed the car for a day. The wife couldn't take it. Misty-eyed, she sank into the sofa. The husband too was jolted, but his love for his wife prevailed over the moment. He hugged her from behind and said, "The car is lost. You can feel upset about it. The car is lost. You can take it easy. Either way, the car is lost. Then, why not take it easy?" She glared at him and the moment passed. Two months later, the police recovered the car from a car robbing gang, and the car was returned to the husband. That very evening, while driving back home from the police station, the husband rammed the car against a truck. This time it was his turn. He couldn't take it. On returning home, misty-eyed, he sank into the sofa. The wife too was jolted. But, her love for him prevailed over the moment. This time, she hugged him from behind, and said, "The car is rammed. You can feel upset about it. The car is rammed. You can take it easy. Either way, the car is rammed. Then, why not take it easy." 

A logical question: When the car is lost or rammed, how can anyone take it easy? But what else can you do? Feel upset, if you want; take it easy, if you want -either way, after the emotional drama, what has to be done has to be done. The police complaint has to be lodged, the car has to be sent to the workshop, the insurance has to be claimed... what has to be done has to be done. 
The child has failed in one of the subjects. The father slaps the child a few times. The mother hits herself on her forehead several times and cries. After all the emotional drama, what? Now, you will have to take greater care while coaching your child in that subject he might perhaps require special tuition - what has to be done has to be done. You left the milk a little longer than required on the gas stove. The boiled milk is beginning to overflow from all sides of the vessel, Scream, wail, shout, get tense, and let your BP shoot up... after all the emotional drama, now what? You will switch the stove off, remove the vessel and clean the kitchen counter. Eventually, what has to be done 
will be done. 

From a stock market crash to a key employee's resignation to the death of a loved one... after the emotional drama, eventually what has to be done will be done. Here we are not discussing about not being emotional, but about avoiding dramatic emotional reactions. Understandably, you will skip a heartbeat when you lose your vehicle, you will sink into helplessness when the child fails, legitimate tears will roll down at the loss of a beloved. Emotions - yes. Emotional drama - no! 
Emotional Maturity is not about avoiding emotions, but it is about avoiding the emotional drama. Anyways, what has to be done has to be done. Then, why the drama? 

What you don’t use, you lose.

I have seen people, who were extraordinary public speakers, struggle to stamp the same mark on the dais a few years later, for they’ve lost touch with public speaking. I have seen well-educated women, who after having become homemakers confined themselves to the four walls, struggle with their fluency in communication. I have seen outstanding singers unable to achieve the level of performance they are capable of, for they have stopped practicing.

Why is it that I am not able to exert my left hand as much as my right hand? Simple, I have put my right hand to greater use than my left hand. You develop the muscles you use and lose the ones you don’t use. Most cardiac problems are the result and effect of the heart not being made to work to its maximum capacity. The heart that is made to work keeps working. So is the case with every part of your body… The human body is designed to wear out over a lifetime, but we shrink this lifetime by allowing the body to rust.

If you don’t use it, you lose it.

Unused money devalues. Unused talent diminishes. Unused potential decays. Unused machinery gets rusted. Unused time dies. Unused knowledge becomes a burden. What isn’t used is abused.

It reminds me of the biblical parable of talents, where the master, before going on a journey, called his three servants and entrusted them with different talents, On the return of the master, the first servant said he had added five more talents to the five entrusted. The second servant said he had added two more talents to the two entrusted. The master was pleased and he told both of them, “You were faithful with a few things. So, I will put you in charge of many things.’ The third servant returned the only talent entrusted without using it, and the master said, ‘Take away the talent from him and give it to the one who has ten talents.

Matthew 25:29 states, “For, to everyone who has shall more be given, and he shall have abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away.”

The tragedy of life isn’t the ultimate death, but the resources that die within you when you are still alive.Let us not die while we are still breathing.

Use it or you will lose it.

Let the good make noise.

An aspiring youth joined a daily as an apprentice. After three days of rigorous training and induction, he was asked to go to the field and come back with a story worth publishing. After toiling through the streets and braving the heat for close to six hours, he was returning to office with a sense of failure as he hadn’t collected a worthwhile story. He came to a junction where three roads met in a Y’ formation. He noticed two buses speeding towards the junction from the two opposite roads, oblivious of what they were heading for. An accident seemed almost inevitable. The young reporter used his presence of mind, ran to the meeting point of the two roads, vigorously waved both his hands, screamed at the top of his voice and eventually succeeded in stopping both the buses. Hundreds of passengers from both the buses took the youth’s hand into theirs and thanked him… some even kissed him. However, on hearing this heroic story from the young reporter, the editor of the newspaper sacked him saying, “You missed a golden opportunity of a dramatic story worthy of headlines.”

We do not live in a bad world. Its just that the bad makes news. In a world where the bad makes so much noise, we need more and more avenues through which the good too will begin to make noise. We cannot remain taciturn anymore. Smoking, drinking, chewing and many other harmful habits are advertised enough; but what is available to brainwash the world on all the good activities?

Tax evaders make headlines… instead, why not a story on the front page about the taxpayers? The photos of murderers are flashed… instead, why not that of lifesavers? Why not a story about a soldier every day?

Go out into the world and speak all the good you know of all the people. Tell your friends about the virtues of your parents. Let everyone in your club know how proud you are of your children. Stick a bulletin about all the qualities you admire in your teachers. Gossip more and more about all the extraordinary things ordinary people around you are doing every day of their lives. Write to your in-laws about how blessed you are to have their child as your spouse. Shout, scream, write, speak, blow the trumpet, make noise… make noise… about all the good that you can see. Let us together impress the world and impress upon the world that our world is actually a good world…

The language of life is “I CAN”.

I have often seen children blocking the path of an army of ants on the wall with their hands as a prank. The ants spontaneously find an alternate path and keep marching. The child now blocks even this path and the ants simply find another path and move on… The child, driven by mischief, uses his fingers to push a few ants off the wall. With resilience and spontaneity, the ants begin their climb once again. Whatever be the obstacles, however difficult the hurdles may be, the ants go on with the belief I CAN. Till they die, they try, they fight, they strive and they march on believing I CAN. They lose this sense of I CAN only to death.

I have seen bulls pull excessively overloaded carts on flyovers and over bridges. One step at a time, struggling through every inch of it, they make it. They may have been victims of man’s exploitation, but all the same they never give up. Even blades of grass and the almost invisible micro-organisms keep growing against all odds with the belief I CAN. They lose this self-belief only to death

The language of life is I CAN. The language of death is I CAN’T. Of all the creations, man alone, supposedly the supreme of all creations, speaks the language of death. Man alone utters, believes and follows the language of death, which is I CAN’T. Research shows it is so because every human being, before he attains the age of 14, has been told by his parents, teachers, society and peer group about 1,48,000 times on an average, “YOU CAN’T”. His environment has hammered into him about 1,48,000 times that “HE CAN’T”.

I CAN. YOU CAN. WE CAN. Man has to rise above man. Man has to renounce the language of death and embrace the language of life. I can drop I CAN’T. I have to drop I CAN’T. I will drop I CAN’T. So what if I have been told “I CAN’T” 1,48,000 times? I have over 1,48,000 human beings in the history of humanity who have shown me that I CAN. I have every form of life to inspire me into believing I CAN. The voice of life is gradually growing louder and louder within me… this is death to the voice of death. Let us have total faith in ourselves. Having faith in ourselves will be our way of showing faith in the wisdom that created us.

Be someone’s greatest gift.

I need a relationship in which I don’t have to keep explaining myself. Nothing is more tiring than having to constantly explain yourself. Emotional tiredness drains you far more than physical tiredness. So, the search is for that one relationship in which I can enjoy the freedom of trust, where I don’t have to explain everything about me.

I need a relationship in which I won’t be held against myself. I have my strengths. I have my shortcomings. The search is for that one relationship in which my lesser side will not be provoked and instigated constantly. I want that one relationship in which my positives will always be brought to the surface. I need a relationship in which my today is not viewed with the mistakes I made yesterday. Being human… I’m bound to err every now and then. I want someone who won’t maintain a database of my mistakes. The search is for that relationship where yesterday’s fight doesn’t halt today’s communication… where yesterday was over yesterday.

I need a relationship in which it isn’t me who has to take the initiative all the time. I need a relationship where I can be transparent. I need a relationship in which I don’t have to alter my likes and dislikes to gain I and retain the relationship. need a relationship in which my self-image is not scratched. I need a relationship in which I’m not asked to be anyone else. I need a relationship in which I feel completely myself… even more than when I am with my own self. I need that one relationship in which I feel as though I am once again in my mother’s womb a relationship in which my heart always feels… just born. Oh my dear readers, if you already have one such relationship… please go down on your knees in gratitude, for there cannot be a greater gift from life. Such a relationship is life’s greatest gift. If you don’t have one, despair not. Didn’t he say from the mountain top – “Do unto others what you want others do unto you”? Can you be that one to someone else? Gift ourselves into someone’s life. Love someone so completely that you make yourself worthy of being someone’s greatest gift. People feel your love not by what you are with them, but by what they can be with you. In the presence and fragrance of your love, let your beloved blossom.